Sunday, March 15, 2009

One Week In

We were blessed with an amazing opportunity to share our news with some of our closest friends. A group of us had planned a weekend trip away to a cabin in Hocking Hills for some time of community and prayer. Michael and I were in charge of making dinner the first night, and as he prayed over the dinner he included in his prayer our little baby who would be coming in 9 months. You should have seen the surprise on everyone's face! But, it was great to have that time with friends who care and pray for us and a lot of mommies who have been through this before and could offer advice. It was also nice to spend that weekend away from home, without the normal pressures of chores and to-do lists. That gave me a lot of time to reflect and pray over this Little Bean and all that was coming for us. It was amazing how quickly I could go into worry mode - every little cramp or ache or pain had me worried that something may be wrong. I second guessed everything I ate or drank or did - could it hurt the baby? I quickly learned that I couldn't keep going that way. For one thing, it would drive me crazy! More importantly, that isn't how God wants me to live. I had some good time to pray and read in His Word and really turn over the burden of my pregnancy to Him. He loves me and this little child more than I ever could (which is hard to believe because I already love this child more than I thought I could!) But God loves us more, He created us, and He will take care of us. It's not about what I eat or how much I exercise or whether I take all the right vitamins. Don't get me wrong - I will do all the things I am supposed to do, but I wlil not let it control me. For example, I will take my prenatal vitamin every day, but will not freak out if I happen to forget a day. I will follow the dietary restrictions I am supposed to, but if I go out to eat and have a salad that comes with some feta cheese on it I will eat it and not worry. I will simply pray and trust in God. And that does sound simple, but it can be so hard to do. We live in this world where we are taught to control everything, so sometimes giving up that control and trusting Someone else can be the hardest thing to do. but, once you do it, it is the most liberating thing! I think this applies to every area of our life, it just became very apparent to me in dealing with pregnancy. I don't have to worry about my baby, or my job, or the state of the economy, or how things are going with friends or family. I can be involved in all of those things, but the responsibility of them falls to God. I need to listen to Him, spend time in His word and communicating with Him via prayer and in community with other believers so that I can discern His plan for me, but my job is to live in His plan, not try to figure it out on my own. Try it - it is really the most liberating thing to know all of this is out of my hands anyway!

1 comment:

  1. And what a suprise that was for all of us! I'm not sure you could've told us in a more meaningful way.

    I love the blog! I love to be on the inside of your heart. It is a beautiful place to be and I learn so much from you. Thank you for putting your journey out there fore all of us.