Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Yep, two posts in one day. I am feeling called to ask for some prayers. I don't know who will see this, or when, but God has shown me this morning that I could use some prayers from my community.

For the past week, I have had one of the worst allergy attacks of my life. I am used to allergies. I have had them for years, they are bad every spring, I take a variety of drugs to ward off the worst symptoms and wait them out until the pollen and all that craziness has died down and I get back to normal. This year they have been particularly bad though, maybe because I can't take any of my usual cocktail of OTC drugs. I have been miserable, not sleeping, and keeping poor Michael up in the process. At my doctor appointment this week I asked him about it and he prescribed a nasal spray that he assured me would not affect that baby at all, but would help me. I then went through 24 hours of struggling with whether that was true, should I take it or just suffer through for the good of the baby. I don't want to do anything that might hurt our child, but I realized that that attitude was not about protection for the baby, but was more about me living in fear. If I truly believe that God is all-powerful and that he is knitting this child together and knows all about him, then surly I can trust Him to not let this medication have any effect on my child. I had to come to grips with that, and repend to the Lord of my spirit of fear and recommit to living my life in Him and trusting Him.

This all happened last night. Then this morning, in reading the blog of a wise friend, it hit me that I need to pray to be delivered from these allergies. I have been praying that my child will not be afflicted with allergies, but I did not pray to God to take them away from me. Why not? Because I have had them all my life, I am used to them, I expect them? Is it worse than that? In some way do I enjoy the 'suffering' or my husband feeling bad for me? I pray to God for deliverance for the 'big things' that occur in life - do I not consider this a 'big thing?' The more I have thought about it, I believe these allergy attacks come from the devil. God doesn't want me suffering and miserable. He doesn't want me feeling like I need to be confined indoors instead of out enjoying his nature during this beautiful time of year. He doesn't want me sick or suffering, any more than I want my baby sick or suffering. I am His child and He wants good things for me.

So, I am praying. Better late than never, I am asking God to deliver me from the allergies. Not because I am fearful of the medicine, but because I believe that is what He wants, and I want to be in His will, I want to reflect Him image. Will you join me in that prayer, for deliverance from my allergies, and anything that may be holding you back in your life that you haven't recognized as such?

God Is So Good

I don't know why I feel the need to say this today, more than any other day, except that He is. For some reason, for no particular reason, this morning I have been overwhelmed by His goodness and His love for me, and all His children.

Since I haven't been working (truly a blessing from Him) I have been struggling with my days. Contrary to what so many people think about being bored if they weren't at work, I can't seem to find enough hours in the day to keep up with the house, errands, special projects, things to help out Michael, working out, getting ready for Baby, and spending time with God. Many days I have been waking up already feeling some stress about what all I need to get done that day and how I am going to accomplish it. Today was different though. I still have a lot to do, but felt called to spend some time praying and checking out some blogs while eating breakfast. These reminded me anew how great our God really is. I am starting my day a little 'behind' according to my agenda, but I think I am right on track for God's agenda, and isn't that what really matters?

I'm glad He showed me what to with myself for a few minutes this morning. I want to live in Him all the time. I want to reside in His will. It is amazing how, when I do that, everything else just seems to fall into place, or doesn't seem to matter. I know that, yet still at times I let myself get caught up in the world. Not today!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I don't know why I am still amazed at how God provides for His children. I know that He loves me, and that I have put everything in my life in His hands. He always provides, yet I am still sometimes surprised by it. I guess it is good that I don't take it for granted and am still so thankful and amazed when He showers me with His love.

Here is an example that happened to me this week. On Monday I was thinking about our baby. I love this little guy so much already that it sometimes brings me to tears. I was thinking about all the wonderful things that I want to give this baby. I want him to have the world. But it hit me that, most of all, I want to give him God. I want to teach Him about Jesus, I want to model a good relationship with God. I want to take him to church, teach him to pray, raise him in a Christian community. I pray that he will know God and walk with Him all his life. Anything outside of that, all the material possessions, aren't as important. So, I spent some time in prayer and told God all of that. I asked Him to help me raise my chlid in Him, and told Him that I would trust Him for the rest, for all the material 'things' that I want him to have. With me not working these days the idea of all the 'things' we need and the cost of them has taken a bit more prominence in my mind.

On Tuesday, I was surprised to find a box on our porch. It was a very generous gift off of our registry. Most people don't even know we are registered yet, as I have just been trying to get that done. We couldn't find a card or anything, and spent several hours wondering where it came from before we finally found a packing slip. A friend had sent it out of the blue. A coincidence that just 24 hours earlier I had told God I would trust Him to provide for this baby? I don't think so. He is so good!!!! It was like He just wanted to show me that He heard me and He loves that I am trusting Him and He is confirming that He will provide. I love Him!

Saturday, May 2, 2009


Tonight I was reading in Psalm 118, particularly verse 5: In my anguish I cried to the Lord and he answered by setting me free. Over the course of this last week God has truly set me free. Let me first say, I love the way he speaks in our life. I was reading a work of fiction last night that mentioned Psalm 118. So, today, I decided to read it, and it was like words right from my mouth to God. It was perfect to express my thanks to Him for the work He has done in this specific situation in my life. It was like the Holy Spirit interceding on my behalf to help me pray what I needed to without even knowing it. And it stemmed from a work of fiction. God is good!

Some of you may know that I recently resigned from my job. I am now a stay-at-home-mom! It is truly exciting, and God really has set me free. Needless to say, there was a lot of detail, thought, prayer, agonizing over, and discussing this decision. It was a long process and I won't bore you with the details, but the important thing is that I learned so much from God as I went through it.

I learned that God does speak to me. He gives me discernment, and I need to grow in my ability to accept that from Him without questioning it. I spent a lot of time in that questioning period, wondering if this was really what God wanted or if it was coming from me. A very wise friend pointed out James 1:1-8 that really helped with that. I realized that God was putting this on my heart because it was His desire. I went throught a very different situation, but with similar questioning about whether I was hearing from God or myself, over the past two years. I only just recently had it confirmed through multiple people in my community that what I was hearing in that situation was from God. And this time I came to that realization faster. So I am learning! He is working in me! That discernment and being able to hear from Him are things I have been praying for for quite awhile, and it is incredible to see those prayers answered!

I also learned that God wants me to be free. Free from evil situations, free from dealing with unethical people, free from concerns about money/finances/security. I'm not saying those things won't come up in various ways at different points in my life. but for them to be all-consuming, taking all of my energy, and robbing me of my joy isn't right. As another good friend put it, God is giving me the joy of this pregnancy and hearing my baby's heartbeat for the first time, and all sorts of other miraculous things. He gives me that joy, and Satan has no right to rob me of it. He can only steal it from me if I let him. So, I am not letting him.

Embarking on this new phase of my life is exciting and scary all at the same time. It is different than anything I have done before. It is out of the normal for me. I know I will be questioned by various people about this decision, and a lot of society will not understand it. But I do. And God does. And my family and community does. I am doing what God wants, and it is the most liberating thing there is. There is still a lot to figure out and work through, but the bottom line is that God is on my side. This is what He wanted, and He isn't going to abandon me now. He will keep showing me how to move forward, I just need to keep allowing Him to do that. This freedom is spilling over into other areas of my life - more to come on that later.