Friday, February 19, 2010

Hold Me

This week was rough. Jameson had his first cold, poor little guy. It was a rough one...coughing, sneezing, really runny nose, congestion, the works! The first few days he kept up a really good attitude, but the last few days we have had our bouts of inconsolable crying. It is so heartwrenching, to see my little boy with big tears running down his face, his lower lip quivering, totally uncomfortable and not understanding why. He can't understand why he doesn't feel well, or that it is only temporary and will soon go away. He just knows that something isn't right and he doesn't like it. During these times, the only thing that helps is to have me hold him. I can rock him, walk with him, rub his back, hold him tight, and speak soothing words. Sooner or later, he calms down. I can feel his little body relax, see his eyes get heavy as he finally gives in to sleep. I whisper to him, telling him everything is going to be ok, he is going to feel better, Mama is going to be here with him no matter what, and it brings him comfort.

As I've spoken these words over and over to him, I have realized that he just wants to be held and comforted. And that God is just waiting to hold me the same way. When things aren't right in my life, when something is wrong, bothering me, upsetting me, causing me concern, God wants to hold me and share in my pain. Just like Jameson, I don't know why things are rough, or how long a tough patch will last, but if I have faith in God I know that weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. So, even though I don't understand why I may be hurting, and he doesn't know why he doesn't feel well, we can know that it will just last a short time in the grand scheme of things. And just as he knows that when Mama holds him he can relax and let go, I can go to God, ask Him to hold me, and release all that is on my mind. What a freeing thing to do! I am learning so much from my little man...