Sunday, August 8, 2010

Out Of Control

I like control. I admit it. I like order in my life. I like my to-do list checked off. I like to predict when Jameson will take a nap and when he will be hungry. I like to know what plans we have for the coming weekend. I like having a vision, a goal, and clear cut steps on how to achieve it.

I struggle with chaos, with spontaneity. I have a hard time shifting gears when something new comes up. It could be a great thing, a sudden get together with friends or an outing with family, but if it wasn't in my plans it can take me some time to adjust to it.

Lately God has been convicting me of this. No matter how much control I think I have, the reality is that I don't. I don't control anything. From the safety of my home to Jameson's schedule, none of it is really in my hands. That is a scary thing, until I realize that it IS in God's hands, and His hands are much more capable than mine anyway.

No matter what I do, what precautions I take, what safeguards I put in place, there are going to be fires and floods, illnesses and job changes, impromptu opportunities and last minute dinners in my life. And these are good things. Some of the best times with family and friends aren't planned at all. Some of the greatest lessons I learn about trusting God and walking more closely with Him rise out of these 'out-of-control moments.'

So, with God's help, I am trying to let go of control, to be free, relaxed, take life as it comes, savoring every moment and embracing where it takes me. Care to come along?