Breakdown

Pregnancy will give you more physical and emotional experiences than you have ever had in your life. For those of you who haven't experience it yet, just wait. Of course, there are all the physical symptoms - the cravings, the nausea, the weight gain...and I won't go into other gory details. But the emotional changes are out of this world. Between the hormones and exhaustion it is easy to lose all sense of perspective. I can go from being all happy and loving to quiet and withdrawn, unable to explain what is wrong. The smallest thing can set me off on a crying jag that I can't explain or put a stop to. This happened to me in a major way just a few weeks after we found out about the pregnancy. It was a low-key Sunday hanging around the house, and I was being a bit reclusive all day. Michael asked a couple of times what was wrong and I told him nothing, couldn't really explain anything, and I think, truth be told, I ended up a bit frustrated with Michael for asking me what was wrong. Finally, close to bedtime, I just broke down sobbing. I couldn't explain what was wrong, after all I am happy to be pregnant, but I couldn't stop crying. My husband is so wonderful he just held me. He rubbed on my back and my shoulders and my hair, spoke soothing words to me, told me he loved me, and let me cry. He couldn't understand exactly what I was going through, but he understood that I needed him. God gave me this wonderful husband, this perfect match who understands me and what I am going through and is my rock, my shelter, my caretaker when I need it. He ministered to me in the perfect way, just when I needed it, so I could get over my emotions and rest.



I am excited by the changes God is working in my life. I am learning to better communicate with God, and with Michael. I am hearing Him in so many ways, and learning to rely on Him when I can't even understand myself. I feel so loved and cared for that God provides for me and watches out for me in my down times, and provided me with such a wonderful husband to do the same. How blessed can one girl be?