So, if you read my last post you know all about the rough day I had. The pain, the grief, the sorrow. As Ecclesiastes says, it was my time to weep. I don't apologize for the day, the feelings, the words. They were necessary for me. A part of the process. What is life if not a process?
But, as it says in Psalms, rejoicing comes in the morning. After my time to cry, the world did go on. Jameson woke up from his nap, I wiped my eyes, and we got in the car to 'go-go bye-bye.' We ran some errands and returned to the real world, the land of the living. Just the act of getting out, the decision to embrace a sunny day, started to turn things around. My thoughts became more positive, my mood lifted, my tears slowly lessened.
And, when morning came, rejoicing truly did reign! I had a great friend come to visit. The visit was already planned and arranged (I believe by God in His infinite wisdom who answered a prayer I hadn't even prayed yet.) She brought me smiles and laughter and distraction and fun. How can you not rejoice when you are given the precious gift of time with your oldest friend, day in and day out, for five days? It was beautiful. My perspective changed, my emotions gave way to rational thoughts, sound decisions, and prayer.
I miss my babies, but I am so thankful for the time I got to be excited for them, to plan for them, to anticipate them. I am grateful they are living with my God in heaven, where they never have to know the pain of this world. I am appreciative of the God who knew how I would suffer and made provisions to show me His mercy in the midst of it. And I am thankful for the love in my heart for those children, love I will know every day of my life.