Facelift

Well, if you are reading this blog (not for the first time) you will notice a lot of changes in the color, format, text, etc. It was time for a change. God is working a lot in my life, I am being changed, refined, created anew, and I felt like it was time for the blog to do the same. More details on the changes in my life later. (Currently it is all still in process.) For now, enjoy the changes in the blog. More to follow...

Hold Me

This week was rough. Jameson had his first cold, poor little guy. It was a rough one...coughing, sneezing, really runny nose, congestion, the works! The first few days he kept up a really good attitude, but the last few days we have had our bouts of inconsolable crying. It is so heartwrenching, to see my little boy with big tears running down his face, his lower lip quivering, totally uncomfortable and not understanding why. He can't understand why he doesn't feel well, or that it is only temporary and will soon go away. He just knows that something isn't right and he doesn't like it. During these times, the only thing that helps is to have me hold him. I can rock him, walk with him, rub his back, hold him tight, and speak soothing words. Sooner or later, he calms down. I can feel his little body relax, see his eyes get heavy as he finally gives in to sleep. I whisper to him, telling him everything is going to be ok, he is going to feel better, Mama is going to be here with him no matter what, and it brings him comfort.

As I've spoken these words over and over to him, I have realized that he just wants to be held and comforted. And that God is just waiting to hold me the same way. When things aren't right in my life, when something is wrong, bothering me, upsetting me, causing me concern, God wants to hold me and share in my pain. Just like Jameson, I don't know why things are rough, or how long a tough patch will last, but if I have faith in God I know that weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. So, even though I don't understand why I may be hurting, and he doesn't know why he doesn't feel well, we can know that it will just last a short time in the grand scheme of things. And just as he knows that when Mama holds him he can relax and let go, I can go to God, ask Him to hold me, and release all that is on my mind. What a freeing thing to do! I am learning so much from my little man...

Surprise!

This past weekend, Michael surprised me with a party to celebrate my 30th birthday. 30 years. Wow! I had no idea at all, and was totally caught off-guard. I thought we were going to have dinner with friends, and instead we walked into their house filled with my parents, my sister and her fiance, and all my closest friends. We had kids running around, babies crying, a steady steam of women heading upstairs to nurse babies, montiors on to keep track of the napping infants, a run to the emergency room for one dad and son..and it was awesome.



We are blessed beyond words to have these friends. How many people can say their mom would come home from a weeklong vacation and help make food for a surprise party less than 24 hours later? How many friends would offer to host a party at their house, clean, decorate, cook, and put together a video photo show with three kids at home including a 9 week old baby?? How many womeon would venture out into the cold with an 8-day-old baby to share in the celebration?



Needless to say...I am blessed. To be in this environment, surrounded by so much love and caring, to hear the support and encouragement and shared advice, to know these are the people we can go to at any time for any reason when we need them...there are no words to describe the goodness that existed in that place. Such warmth, such love, these are things you don't find often in our world today. No pushing to get ahead, no need to self-promote, to keep up with the Joneses, to prove your worth, just the relaxed atmosphere of coming home to a place where you are truly accepted, appreciated, and loved just for who you are, every hour of every day.



I love you all.

On a side note, this party was on the anniversary of the day last winter when we sat in a cabin in Hocking Hills and told most of these people that I was pregnant. In January we shared that news, in February Tim had a surprise party for Robyn, closely followed by Connie and Katie finding out they were pregnant. Then came Erin's pregnancy, then Tricia's, then the birth of our baby, a surprise party for Michael, the birth of Connie's baby, Katie's baby, Erin's baby, a surprise party for Tim, Robyn's pregnancy, the birth of Tricia's baby, a surprise party for me. Wow, that makes me tired just thinking about it. Can't imagine what the next 12 months will bring...

Christmas

Today I was reading the Crossroads daily and it discussed how many aspects of Christmas are an interruption to normal life, and how our lives are interrupted when we choose to follow Jesus. I got to thinking about Christmas (this time of year how could you not?) I love the decorations, the trees, the Christmas carols, cookies, get togethers with family and friends. Yes, it can be inconvenient. We have to re-arrange our schedules to make various parties, dinners, etc. We have to get gifts for everyone on our lists. We have to take the time to shop for the ingredients for the cookies and then bake them. The list of each person's Christmas traditions go on and on.

Yet, Christmas gives us a time to be doing things we should be doing all year. Look at the amount of time you spend with your family and friends over the holidays. Why not try to spend more time with them throughout the year, instead of just at this time? And look at the generosity of shopping for the perfect gift that will make a loved one's face light up when she opens it. Isn't there a lot most of us could do to be more generous throughout the year. And while we are on that subject - what about receiving? A lot of us struggle with receiving. It can be an insult to our pride or our independence or sense of fairness. If someone gives to us we feel we have to give something back to keep the balance even. Christmas is a great time for us to practice giving and receiving, but those are principles we need to keep in practice all year long.

And, as I am sitting here watching snow fall outside my window, I am reminded that God is with us every day, washing us white as snow through the sacrifice of his Son. We may be more aware and in tune with that during the Christmas season, but it is true all year long.

First Day

Wow, today Jameson is 12 weeks old! In some ways those 12 weeks have flown by; in other ways it feels like he has been here forever. I asked Michael the other day what we used to do with ourselves before him. Our lives have totally changed and it is awesome! We have so much to be thankful for, with this beautiful baby who loves to cuddle, who is sleeping longer at night these days, who is developing a personality, smiling and talking to us, reaching and grabbing for toys, kicking his legs, moving his head...he is just hitting all of those milestones. It is awesome to watch it happen!

It hit me this weekend that, if I had worked right up until he was born and taken a full maternity leave, today would be my first day back at work. This Monday of Christmas week I would be headed back to my old job, dropping Jameson off at day care, adjusting to a whole new and different routine. I am so blessed to be in a position where I get to stay at home with him. Since I was young I have felt called to be a stay at home mom when the time came. It isn't easy, that I've learned. There are days I want to cry and pull my hair out, but it is worth it. I love witnessing all of his changes and developments. And now that he is starting to get into more of a predictable routine hopefully I can start doing a better job taking care of the rest of the house, the cleaning, grocery shopping, etc that has fallen by the wayside here recently. These past 12 weeks have been like an alternate life. I think of all the phases we have gone through with him, tough times that seemed interminable as we experienced them, that now I can barely remember. Time is flying by, and I want to remember to cherish every second!

Thankfulness

Today I read a passage in Ephesians that discussed doing things out of love rather than following a list of rules. Too often I look at life as rules of what I should or should not do, or even more often as a balancing act - what is fair. If we spend 3 hours with Michael's family on a holiday we need to spend an equal amount of time with my family. If I am changing diapers and doing Jameson's laundry how much is Michael helping. It is so easy to look at life in this transactional way. Yet, that is no way to live.

God loves me. He has blessed me with so much, so many things I take for granted every day. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby boy. I have a great house and yard, and I get to stay at home to raise my son. We have plenty of diapers that I don't have to wash every day! We have a diaper pail to put them in. We have a car seat and stroller, I have lots of clothes and shoes, we have a TV and cable. God has blessed us with all of these things, and certainly not because I deserve them! I am guilty of lying, gossiping, judging others, being selfish...the list goes on and on. If God gave me what I deserved what a sorry place I would be in. But no, He gives to me out of love. He pours out these blessings on me because He loves me. He gives me so much better than I could ever earn or deserve.

If this is the way God loves me and treats me, shouldn't I then turn and treat others around me with the same outpouring of love? Instead of worrying about how much Michael does that 'counts' on my list, shouldn't I instead be grateful of the things I have an opportunity to do to help him out? Shouldn't I be glad that I can allow him to spend time with his family on a holiday? Shouldn't I rejoice in the fact that I can change some diapers to take that task off of his plate? Shouldn't I be glad when I can get housework done so he comes home to a clean and sparkling house, instead of focusing on what I did and what he didn't do? Isn't that living in love, as Christ taught us to do?

This gives me a lot to think about. A whole new focus on my daily routines and tasks. And I'm excited about it!!!!

Like Children

In Matthew, Jesus tells His followers that unless they become like children they will not enter the kingdom of heaven. I have always thought that referred to a level of innocence and trust that children have, and the idea of having blind faith. And, I do think that is a component of what Jesus was getting at. But recently, as I was watching Jameson and reflecting on some things I had read regarding infants' development, I looked at this idea in a new light.

Infants come from a warm, dark, wet, safe environment (the womb) and are suddenly bombarded with a plethora of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, etc that they have never before experienced. There is so much to take in as their senses are inundated with new experiences and sensations every waking moment. It is vitally important for them to have quiet time as well as ample amounts of sleep so as to process all the new information and experiences. During that time their brain pieces together all of these new findings to make sense of them. This helps them understand their surroundings and develop and mature as a person.

Could this be another component of us becoming like children? If we are truly walking with and growing in God, we are likely experiencing new and different things. It could be in the matter of things we are reading, messages we are listening too, things we are hearing from people in our community, experiences in our prayer life, and many, many other things. A natural part of growth is new experiences. But, in our society, we are so fast paced we often don't take time to process these new experiences. Something may catch at our subconconcious, we may have a little niggle in our mind, but often we blow past it, in a hurry to get on with our day. We value efficiency so much that we push thing aside instead of taking the time to understand them. It is seen as 'laziness' or 'weakness' to set aside time to rest, to meditate, to regroup. And what are we missing by doing this? Children wouldn't be able to mature into adults, would not be able to understand this world around them, without that quiet and restful time to process the many new experiences in their lives. If we continued to follow that process as children do, how much deeper of an understanding could we have of the things we experience in our lives everyday?

Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here, or maybe I am off on some unrelated tangent, but the thought came to me, and it is something I want to explore further. I must thank Jameson for putting this in my mind!