Today I was reading the Crossroads daily and it discussed how many aspects of Christmas are an interruption to normal life, and how our lives are interrupted when we choose to follow Jesus. I got to thinking about Christmas (this time of year how could you not?) I love the decorations, the trees, the Christmas carols, cookies, get togethers with family and friends. Yes, it can be inconvenient. We have to re-arrange our schedules to make various parties, dinners, etc. We have to get gifts for everyone on our lists. We have to take the time to shop for the ingredients for the cookies and then bake them. The list of each person's Christmas traditions go on and on.
Yet, Christmas gives us a time to be doing things we should be doing all year. Look at the amount of time you spend with your family and friends over the holidays. Why not try to spend more time with them throughout the year, instead of just at this time? And look at the generosity of shopping for the perfect gift that will make a loved one's face light up when she opens it. Isn't there a lot most of us could do to be more generous throughout the year. And while we are on that subject - what about receiving? A lot of us struggle with receiving. It can be an insult to our pride or our independence or sense of fairness. If someone gives to us we feel we have to give something back to keep the balance even. Christmas is a great time for us to practice giving and receiving, but those are principles we need to keep in practice all year long.
And, as I am sitting here watching snow fall outside my window, I am reminded that God is with us every day, washing us white as snow through the sacrifice of his Son. We may be more aware and in tune with that during the Christmas season, but it is true all year long.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
First Day
Wow, today Jameson is 12 weeks old! In some ways those 12 weeks have flown by; in other ways it feels like he has been here forever. I asked Michael the other day what we used to do with ourselves before him. Our lives have totally changed and it is awesome! We have so much to be thankful for, with this beautiful baby who loves to cuddle, who is sleeping longer at night these days, who is developing a personality, smiling and talking to us, reaching and grabbing for toys, kicking his legs, moving his head...he is just hitting all of those milestones. It is awesome to watch it happen!
It hit me this weekend that, if I had worked right up until he was born and taken a full maternity leave, today would be my first day back at work. This Monday of Christmas week I would be headed back to my old job, dropping Jameson off at day care, adjusting to a whole new and different routine. I am so blessed to be in a position where I get to stay at home with him. Since I was young I have felt called to be a stay at home mom when the time came. It isn't easy, that I've learned. There are days I want to cry and pull my hair out, but it is worth it. I love witnessing all of his changes and developments. And now that he is starting to get into more of a predictable routine hopefully I can start doing a better job taking care of the rest of the house, the cleaning, grocery shopping, etc that has fallen by the wayside here recently. These past 12 weeks have been like an alternate life. I think of all the phases we have gone through with him, tough times that seemed interminable as we experienced them, that now I can barely remember. Time is flying by, and I want to remember to cherish every second!
It hit me this weekend that, if I had worked right up until he was born and taken a full maternity leave, today would be my first day back at work. This Monday of Christmas week I would be headed back to my old job, dropping Jameson off at day care, adjusting to a whole new and different routine. I am so blessed to be in a position where I get to stay at home with him. Since I was young I have felt called to be a stay at home mom when the time came. It isn't easy, that I've learned. There are days I want to cry and pull my hair out, but it is worth it. I love witnessing all of his changes and developments. And now that he is starting to get into more of a predictable routine hopefully I can start doing a better job taking care of the rest of the house, the cleaning, grocery shopping, etc that has fallen by the wayside here recently. These past 12 weeks have been like an alternate life. I think of all the phases we have gone through with him, tough times that seemed interminable as we experienced them, that now I can barely remember. Time is flying by, and I want to remember to cherish every second!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thankfulness
Today I read a passage in Ephesians that discussed doing things out of love rather than following a list of rules. Too often I look at life as rules of what I should or should not do, or even more often as a balancing act - what is fair. If we spend 3 hours with Michael's family on a holiday we need to spend an equal amount of time with my family. If I am changing diapers and doing Jameson's laundry how much is Michael helping. It is so easy to look at life in this transactional way. Yet, that is no way to live.
God loves me. He has blessed me with so much, so many things I take for granted every day. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby boy. I have a great house and yard, and I get to stay at home to raise my son. We have plenty of diapers that I don't have to wash every day! We have a diaper pail to put them in. We have a car seat and stroller, I have lots of clothes and shoes, we have a TV and cable. God has blessed us with all of these things, and certainly not because I deserve them! I am guilty of lying, gossiping, judging others, being selfish...the list goes on and on. If God gave me what I deserved what a sorry place I would be in. But no, He gives to me out of love. He pours out these blessings on me because He loves me. He gives me so much better than I could ever earn or deserve.
If this is the way God loves me and treats me, shouldn't I then turn and treat others around me with the same outpouring of love? Instead of worrying about how much Michael does that 'counts' on my list, shouldn't I instead be grateful of the things I have an opportunity to do to help him out? Shouldn't I be glad that I can allow him to spend time with his family on a holiday? Shouldn't I rejoice in the fact that I can change some diapers to take that task off of his plate? Shouldn't I be glad when I can get housework done so he comes home to a clean and sparkling house, instead of focusing on what I did and what he didn't do? Isn't that living in love, as Christ taught us to do?
This gives me a lot to think about. A whole new focus on my daily routines and tasks. And I'm excited about it!!!!
God loves me. He has blessed me with so much, so many things I take for granted every day. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby boy. I have a great house and yard, and I get to stay at home to raise my son. We have plenty of diapers that I don't have to wash every day! We have a diaper pail to put them in. We have a car seat and stroller, I have lots of clothes and shoes, we have a TV and cable. God has blessed us with all of these things, and certainly not because I deserve them! I am guilty of lying, gossiping, judging others, being selfish...the list goes on and on. If God gave me what I deserved what a sorry place I would be in. But no, He gives to me out of love. He pours out these blessings on me because He loves me. He gives me so much better than I could ever earn or deserve.
If this is the way God loves me and treats me, shouldn't I then turn and treat others around me with the same outpouring of love? Instead of worrying about how much Michael does that 'counts' on my list, shouldn't I instead be grateful of the things I have an opportunity to do to help him out? Shouldn't I be glad that I can allow him to spend time with his family on a holiday? Shouldn't I rejoice in the fact that I can change some diapers to take that task off of his plate? Shouldn't I be glad when I can get housework done so he comes home to a clean and sparkling house, instead of focusing on what I did and what he didn't do? Isn't that living in love, as Christ taught us to do?
This gives me a lot to think about. A whole new focus on my daily routines and tasks. And I'm excited about it!!!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Like Children
In Matthew, Jesus tells His followers that unless they become like children they will not enter the kingdom of heaven. I have always thought that referred to a level of innocence and trust that children have, and the idea of having blind faith. And, I do think that is a component of what Jesus was getting at. But recently, as I was watching Jameson and reflecting on some things I had read regarding infants' development, I looked at this idea in a new light.
Infants come from a warm, dark, wet, safe environment (the womb) and are suddenly bombarded with a plethora of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, etc that they have never before experienced. There is so much to take in as their senses are inundated with new experiences and sensations every waking moment. It is vitally important for them to have quiet time as well as ample amounts of sleep so as to process all the new information and experiences. During that time their brain pieces together all of these new findings to make sense of them. This helps them understand their surroundings and develop and mature as a person.
Could this be another component of us becoming like children? If we are truly walking with and growing in God, we are likely experiencing new and different things. It could be in the matter of things we are reading, messages we are listening too, things we are hearing from people in our community, experiences in our prayer life, and many, many other things. A natural part of growth is new experiences. But, in our society, we are so fast paced we often don't take time to process these new experiences. Something may catch at our subconconcious, we may have a little niggle in our mind, but often we blow past it, in a hurry to get on with our day. We value efficiency so much that we push thing aside instead of taking the time to understand them. It is seen as 'laziness' or 'weakness' to set aside time to rest, to meditate, to regroup. And what are we missing by doing this? Children wouldn't be able to mature into adults, would not be able to understand this world around them, without that quiet and restful time to process the many new experiences in their lives. If we continued to follow that process as children do, how much deeper of an understanding could we have of the things we experience in our lives everyday?
Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here, or maybe I am off on some unrelated tangent, but the thought came to me, and it is something I want to explore further. I must thank Jameson for putting this in my mind!
Infants come from a warm, dark, wet, safe environment (the womb) and are suddenly bombarded with a plethora of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, etc that they have never before experienced. There is so much to take in as their senses are inundated with new experiences and sensations every waking moment. It is vitally important for them to have quiet time as well as ample amounts of sleep so as to process all the new information and experiences. During that time their brain pieces together all of these new findings to make sense of them. This helps them understand their surroundings and develop and mature as a person.
Could this be another component of us becoming like children? If we are truly walking with and growing in God, we are likely experiencing new and different things. It could be in the matter of things we are reading, messages we are listening too, things we are hearing from people in our community, experiences in our prayer life, and many, many other things. A natural part of growth is new experiences. But, in our society, we are so fast paced we often don't take time to process these new experiences. Something may catch at our subconconcious, we may have a little niggle in our mind, but often we blow past it, in a hurry to get on with our day. We value efficiency so much that we push thing aside instead of taking the time to understand them. It is seen as 'laziness' or 'weakness' to set aside time to rest, to meditate, to regroup. And what are we missing by doing this? Children wouldn't be able to mature into adults, would not be able to understand this world around them, without that quiet and restful time to process the many new experiences in their lives. If we continued to follow that process as children do, how much deeper of an understanding could we have of the things we experience in our lives everyday?
Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here, or maybe I am off on some unrelated tangent, but the thought came to me, and it is something I want to explore further. I must thank Jameson for putting this in my mind!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Overwhelmed
That is a good word to describe what I have felt in the past almost 4 weeks. Overwhelmed with excitement as I went into labor, and with some pain through the process. Overwhelmed with joy to greet our little boy as he entered the world. It's amazing how you can be overwhelemed in a good way, or a bad way, and sometimes both at the same time.
Over the past few weeks, I have been overwhelmed with the generosity of our family and friends. So many people have brought us meals, given Jameson cards and gifts, called from out of town to see how we are doing. People have taken time out of their busy schedules to help us out and share in our joy. Friends and family have offered their insight and shared their experiences as we have dealth with new things or had issues come up we weren't sure how to deal with. They have taken our calls, stopped by our house, etc. Even doctors and lactation consultants have gone beyond the call of duty to help on weekends or off hours when needed. I can't imagine trying to care for an infant without all of that overwhelming generosity.
Then there has been the down side of being overhwelmed. Overwhelmed with learning how to care for this little guy. Figuring out what is wrong when he cries. Overwhelmed with pain as nursing hasn't been an easy process. Overwhelmed with tiredness after long fussy nights. Overwhelmed with wondering where all the hours in the day went, where I used to get so much done and now can't even find time for a shower. Overwhelmed with how little I know about caring for babies when this little man's whole existence relies on me right now. There is so much to overwhelm me.
But the BEST overwhelming feeling is when I look at his little face and hands and toes and am completely and utterly overwhelmed with how much I love him. I am completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with this little guy. He is perfect, this treasure, this blessing from God, and I can't begin to thank God enough for him. The other things will work themselves out, but the overwhelming love I am so grateful for, and I know it will just continue to increase with each day. I LOVE JAMESON!
Over the past few weeks, I have been overwhelmed with the generosity of our family and friends. So many people have brought us meals, given Jameson cards and gifts, called from out of town to see how we are doing. People have taken time out of their busy schedules to help us out and share in our joy. Friends and family have offered their insight and shared their experiences as we have dealth with new things or had issues come up we weren't sure how to deal with. They have taken our calls, stopped by our house, etc. Even doctors and lactation consultants have gone beyond the call of duty to help on weekends or off hours when needed. I can't imagine trying to care for an infant without all of that overwhelming generosity.
Then there has been the down side of being overhwelmed. Overwhelmed with learning how to care for this little guy. Figuring out what is wrong when he cries. Overwhelmed with pain as nursing hasn't been an easy process. Overwhelmed with tiredness after long fussy nights. Overwhelmed with wondering where all the hours in the day went, where I used to get so much done and now can't even find time for a shower. Overwhelmed with how little I know about caring for babies when this little man's whole existence relies on me right now. There is so much to overwhelm me.
But the BEST overwhelming feeling is when I look at his little face and hands and toes and am completely and utterly overwhelmed with how much I love him. I am completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with this little guy. He is perfect, this treasure, this blessing from God, and I can't begin to thank God enough for him. The other things will work themselves out, but the overwhelming love I am so grateful for, and I know it will just continue to increase with each day. I LOVE JAMESON!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Waiting...
Well, we are anxiously awaiting the birth of our little boy! I think the entire science of pregnancy is a riot. His due date is tomorrow, yet we are talking about inductions, etc. It really cracks me up! He will come in God's good time, when he is good and ready to be out here in this world. We are so tempted to act like there is a problem in the fact that he hasn't been born yet, or to be impatient, yet we aren't even at the due date, much less 'over due.' Gotta take it all in stride. We love him and are anxious to see him, but he has the rest of his life to live out here in the world; why not enjoy the safety, the warmth, the comfort of the womb as long as possible? Who can blame him?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Heart's Desires
Our hearts' desires are a powerful thing. Sure, they are the stuff of famous love songs, the plots of books and movies, but when you really think about it, they motivate us in life. What are the desires of your heart? The things you truly seek and know deep inside, things you may keep to yourself, just share with your spouse, things you may hesitate to share with the whole world? I believe that God grants us the desires of our hearts because I believe that He put them there. I believe that He creates those different desires in each of us, and I believe He loves seeing them fulfilled in our lives.
One of my heart's desires has always been to be a wife and mother. More than anything in this world I have felt God calling me to that from a young age. A little over three years ago He fulfilled that desire to be a wife, and now He is in the process of fulfilling the desire to be a mom. (I would say that I am already a mom, my little boy just isn't out here where everyone can see him yet.)
Regarding that desire to be a mom, I have always had a strong desire not to have labor induced. Not saying induction is right or wrong categorically, just that I have always felt it wasn't right for me. That feeling has not gone away during this pregnancy, despite the fact that, because of the Factor V and heparin injections, my doctors have all talked to me about induction, numerous times. I feel that the strong desires of our hearts, our dreams and passions, are placed there by God, and He will fulfill them. I trust Him in that. As I have dealt with the doctors I have asked God repeatedly to show me if my heart needs to change on this subject. I have asked Him to call me out if this is me trying to control things or do things my way, instead of His. Yet not once have I felt that conviction change. I know this is what God wants.
Today, I get a call from my doctors office again telling me they want me to schedule an induction. I explained to the nurse that I do not want an induction, unless they are telling me that there is a problem or concern from today's ultrasound. Is there anything wrong? No, they tell me. He scored a perfect 8 on his biophysical profile. Amniotic fluid levels are good, he is doing his practice breathing, he measures well. I have been having intermittent contractions for the past few days. Things are progressing. So, I reiterate, I would rather wait and let it happen naturally. Now they want me to go in to meet with the doctor tomorrow to 'discuss.'
I am steeping myself, my baby, and this entire process in prayer. I am so glad that it is in God's hands. I am so glad that we can turn ourselves over to his protection and not worry about anything (Phil 4:6) and that through Him all things are possible (Phil 4:13). He wants us to be healthy and prosper (3 John 1:2). I do not have to fear, for He is with me and will strengthen me (IS 41:10.) I can cast all my anxiety on Him (1 Peter 5:7.) And Psalm 22:9 tells me He will bring this baby safely from my womb. Wow. He is stronger than any other power, and He is on my side. What have I to fear?
One of my heart's desires has always been to be a wife and mother. More than anything in this world I have felt God calling me to that from a young age. A little over three years ago He fulfilled that desire to be a wife, and now He is in the process of fulfilling the desire to be a mom. (I would say that I am already a mom, my little boy just isn't out here where everyone can see him yet.)
Regarding that desire to be a mom, I have always had a strong desire not to have labor induced. Not saying induction is right or wrong categorically, just that I have always felt it wasn't right for me. That feeling has not gone away during this pregnancy, despite the fact that, because of the Factor V and heparin injections, my doctors have all talked to me about induction, numerous times. I feel that the strong desires of our hearts, our dreams and passions, are placed there by God, and He will fulfill them. I trust Him in that. As I have dealt with the doctors I have asked God repeatedly to show me if my heart needs to change on this subject. I have asked Him to call me out if this is me trying to control things or do things my way, instead of His. Yet not once have I felt that conviction change. I know this is what God wants.
Today, I get a call from my doctors office again telling me they want me to schedule an induction. I explained to the nurse that I do not want an induction, unless they are telling me that there is a problem or concern from today's ultrasound. Is there anything wrong? No, they tell me. He scored a perfect 8 on his biophysical profile. Amniotic fluid levels are good, he is doing his practice breathing, he measures well. I have been having intermittent contractions for the past few days. Things are progressing. So, I reiterate, I would rather wait and let it happen naturally. Now they want me to go in to meet with the doctor tomorrow to 'discuss.'
I am steeping myself, my baby, and this entire process in prayer. I am so glad that it is in God's hands. I am so glad that we can turn ourselves over to his protection and not worry about anything (Phil 4:6) and that through Him all things are possible (Phil 4:13). He wants us to be healthy and prosper (3 John 1:2). I do not have to fear, for He is with me and will strengthen me (IS 41:10.) I can cast all my anxiety on Him (1 Peter 5:7.) And Psalm 22:9 tells me He will bring this baby safely from my womb. Wow. He is stronger than any other power, and He is on my side. What have I to fear?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
