Blind Faith

As I was going about my daily errands today, I was thinking about the baby, as I often do. I was thinking about all the questions I ask the doctor, the things I research online. The questions about what I should be eating, what medications to take or not to take, how my working out will affect him, the list goes on and on. I know myself, and I tend to overanalyze things. For example, it's not enough to just ask my doctor a question and take his answer and do it. I also have to read about it in a book, or search it online, pray about it, talk to Michael, etc. So, today, I thought to myself "wow, wouldn't life be easier if I was one of those people who could just accept what her doctor told her and follow it on blind faith, no questions asked?"

And it hit me, like a mack truck, that I am so blessed to be able to trust God that way. I don't have to overanalyze, I don't have to find all the scientific answers. What I need to do is pray, take time to hear what God is telling me, and then trust Him enough to follow it. It isn't enough just to say repeated prayers about it. I have to take time to listen to his response. After that, it isn't enough just to follow whhere I sense Him leading, but I need to continue to trust Him. Sometimes it's easy, in the moment, to follow through on something. But then, when some time has gone by, it's easy to let fear creep in, to forget what He has told me, what He has promised, and try to take control back myself. I start to second guess, worry, re-figure things out, but I don't need to do that! I can have blind faith in my God, and know that He will never lead me wrong. There is such comfort in that. In knowing that I don't have to have all the answers, I just have to talk to the God who does!

What a Miracle!

The past eight months have been such an amazing experience for us! Everything I have read, everything I have experienced as this baby has grown inside of me, has brought me closer and closer to God. Reading about how the baby is developing each week, how his fingernails and toenails are growing, how his hair grows, when his heart starts beating, how he practices breathing, how his internal organs develop - it is amazing. And then, to feel him move, to feel the hiccups and kicks and somersaults, to see my entire stomach move and quiver - there are no words to describe how that feels. And, to read and experience how my body is changing to accomodate him, from increased blood volume to the growing uterus to everything that will occus during labor and delivery...wow! I experience all of this, and am just in awe of God. He created us this way, He is knitting this little baby together in me, He is causing my body to respond the way it needs to for this little guy. He is amazing! And, all the overwhelming love I feel for this little guy is just a fraction of what God feels for him and for me and for every one of his children out there. Our God is an amazing God!

Community

I love community. I think the wonderful people God places in our lives are among the most precious gifts he gives us. To have people to have fun with, live life with, turn to when you need help, celebrate the good times, offer advice...I just can't imagine life without them. Why the focus on community right now? Because this week a good friend in my community really helped me out.

I love being pregnant. I really do. Despite some of the unfortunate side effects, I love having this little guy grow inside of me, I love feeling him move and kick and hiccup. But, sometimes the exhaustion and hormones get the best of me, which is what happened this week. I was feeling tired and down, I was being hard on myself for not being more productive and getting things checked off of my to-do list. It was rough. I was tempted to cry myself into a nap, but decided a better approach would be to call a good friend who has been through all this before. She picked up the phone and asked how I was and I burst into tears immediately. I couldn't even talk. And she was AWESOME! She talked to me, understood what I was going through. She offered advice and sympathized all at the same time. She didn't make me feel inadequate, or that I was wasting her time during a busy day. She asked me questions and told me about her experiences, she totally turned my entire day around. And, she called me again the next day to ask if I was doing better.

What would we do without friends like that? I love my husband, but he has never been pregnant so can't understand what I am going through. I love God and know He is there for me, but sometimes it is nice to have a physical voice to hear you out and talk back. I am blessed beyond belief to have such great people in my life and I thank God for them. I hope I get the opportunity to return the favor!

God Gave Us a Tahoe!

I just LOVE when God works in our lives. There are constant reminders of his love and action on our part, if we would just choose to see them. The past week has been a busy one for us. Last year we had started looking at SUVs, knowing my little 2-door was not going to be feasible once we had a baby. There were some good deals at the time, but we felt like we should wait until we 'needed' a car. I wasn't pregnant yet at that point, so we decided to hold off. Now, with me at 30 weeks last week, we were definitely feeling like the time was right. We have been looking, trying to find a deal, and my wonderful husband did some research to determine exactly what price, mileage, features, etc we wanted to see to make it the right package. I asked him over the weekend if he had prayed about it. He hadn't, but said he would, and I did as well. Last Monday he came home from work and told me he wanted to show me a vehicle on Craig's list. It was in Louisville, was the car we wanted, but higher on miles and on price than we were ideally looking for. When he logged on to show it to me there was another one, also in Louisville, also what we wanted, fewer miles and lower price! He emailed them immediately. Long story short he really hit it off with these people, we drove to Louisville the next afternoon and bought the car. We got everything we were looking for at a good price. Praise God! I fully believe He gave us this car to keep our new little one safe as we drive him around town.



Then came the process of cleaning up my car to sell. Michael was great at getting it cleaned up and ready for market. We prayed about selling it, put it on Craig's list, had 3 calls within a couple of hours and sold it that night! God has blessed us beyond measure.

Why does this world make it so easy to doubt Him, to think He isn't there or doesn't care about our day to day lives? Why do we get out of the habit of talking to Him, bringing our cares to Him, asking for His help and guidance? He is happy to give it, we just need to ask, but we are too often caught up in taking care of ourselves. I want to rely on Him instead. I choose to rely on Him instead. His ways are better than mine, His plan greater, and I want to be part of it!

Hiccups!

OK, so tonight we are sitting on the couch and I felt the baby moving (he is SO active anymore - it is great!) and I started laughing. Michael asked what was going on and I told him I have no idea what the little guy is doing but he is moving around a lot. It kept happening and then I realized it is the baby with hiccups! It was the cutest thing. Just lasted a couple of minues, but was a regular rhythmic thing. It was so precious I got tears in my eyes! God is just so good to us, giving us this little guy. I pray every day that he will show us how to be the best parents we can be for this guy. He is infinitely precious and dear to us, and we know he is even moreso to God. Every kick and punch (and hiccup!) is a blessing!

Showers of Love

On Saturday Little Bean and I had our first baby shower! My sister hosted it for us and did a fabulous job! The food the decorations, the games - everything was top-notch! It was so amazing to be surrounded by so many friends and family members who love us and are excited to meet this little guy. I was seriously overwhelmed by the generosity of people, in gifts, in their time, and in the fact that I know they will be around as this little guy grows and learns throughout his life. I typically have a tough time receiving. I remember at my bridal showers being very self-concious about opening all those gifts people had given me. This time, though, they were gifts for my son, and it was so exciting to see it all. I can't wait to get things organized, washed, put away, and the room ready for his arrival.

As I think back on the event itself, my overwhelming impression is of joy and love. This room full of people who mean so much to me all together, talking, getting to know each other, sharing ideas, tips, and advice. People who anticipate the arrival of this little one. People he will get to know, who will shape his personality. People who love him and me and Michael and will continue to do so throughout our lives. The entire event was fun and joyful and overwhelming. Currently all of the cards people gave us are up in our living room, and our den is full of gifts waiting to be organized and put away. Every time I look at them I am again overwhelmed by these wonderful people we know.. God has been so good, and will continue to be so good, to us.

Our Little Bean

For the past several days I have felt this little bean move more and more than I have before. He must be getting bigger and stronger, because in the past I would feel him a little bit at different points during the day, but now it is happening all the time, and the feelings are stronger. It's not just the sharp kicks and jabs that I feel, but I feel him stretching or turning over. It is great!



It has got me thinking even more about what a miracle this is. I was praying this morning, and just praising God for this wonderful little guy that He has created. It is amazing and comforting all at the same time to know that He has known this child from conception. Before I even knew I was pregnant, God knew. And He knew it was a boy, and what color his eyes will be (they open this week!) and what his favorite color will be, and what he will want to be when he grows up. What an honor to have a God who knows and cares so much for my child.



I was thinking that, even now, God is preparing the road for this child. He is knitting together other children who will be his friends and classmates. Somewhere right now He is training up a teacher who will impact my child's life. He is developing the man or woman who will someday be his boss, and his co-workers. He is training a great person who will lead him in Kids Club and help him learn more about Jesus. He is forming the perfect woman to be his wife. Amazing!



And this child that He has formed isn't just a coincidence. It's not just that we happened to conceive on a certain date, so this is the baby we are having. God put this specific child together as the perfect child for me and Michael. This is the child He created for us and I just ask His blessings on our family, giving us great relationships, giving us knowledge and discernment as parents to raise this little guy right.